bumps in the road

once i get into a routine of eating healthy, i start to lose sight of why i’m doing it. most of the time, i start feeling much more confident in my physical appearance and that’s where my focus shifts. so my thought process turns into this: i feel good about myself, so i don’t need to make myself miserable by eating healthy and instead learn how to love myself regardless. and i should love myself regardless, but that shouldn’t be an excuse to not be the best version of myself. and honestly, eating healthy doesn’t make me miserable, my strive to do it perfectly is what makes it difficult.

yesterday, i splurged. my boyfriend and i went on a road trip and we got sugar-filled coffee and snacks and ate yummy vegan food. i wore a cute little crop top and felt confident all day. so this morning, i woke up with that mindset. i didn’t eat remotely healthy yesterday, yet i felt cute in my crop top so why am i putting energy towards eating healthy on a daily basis. i laid in bed for a while and ate some of the leftover chocolate oreos and they tasted great, but i also knew i didn’t feel great and i wouldn’t all day if i kept eating unhealthy like i’d planned. when i get into this mindset, i feel like i have to eat every possible thing that sounds good, and that not healthy in any sense of the word.

so i got myself out of bed and brushed my teeth and washed my face, both of which make me instantly feel better, and i made my green smoothie. i’m drinking it right now. and even if i don’t eat the greatest today, because we’re running low on groceries and i’m working on finding other easy foods i can make, i’ll still know i did this small thing to better myself. and just knowing that makes me feel so much better about myself.

i’m sick of having this all or nothing thought process. that’s part of the reason i was so determined to go vegan. i’d been vegetarian several times before for very short spans, but never cared enough because i didn’t have any facts. i always feel as though i have to put all my focus on one thing. so when i decide i want to focus on eating healthy, it’s really easy to beat myself up when i don’t do it perfectly (in my eyes). and that causes me to give up, which doesn’t get me anywhere at all.

so i may have started my morning by eating seven chocolate oreos, but i’m actually really happy with the fact that i was able to take that step back to realize it’s not the end of the world, and i don’t have to feel like crap the rest of the day because of the food i ate yesterday or this morning. it’s going to be a good day!

eating for health rather than appearance

my health history

veganism can be very beneficial to your overall health – both mental and physical – but you still have to choose the right foods to eat. it’s easy to be vegan and live off of french fries, oreos, pasta, and plenty other unhealthy things. and initially, i expected to do that and still benefit from eating a vegan diet.

the first month or so i was fully vegan, i felt great. i was eating a mixture of fruits and veggies, as well as vegan treats because i was mainly learning what exactly i could eat. slowly, i found more and more vegan alternatives to many of my favorite foods, and ate those far more often than i ate healthy foods. it was exciting to find yummy things to eat when i initially felt so restricted by veganism. it was also much easier and more filling to make a frozen pizza or mac n cheese than to eat some roasted potatoes or to make a smoothie.

it didn’t take too long for me to get sick of not feeling my best, because i knew how good i felt when i initially went vegan. so i began trying different vegan diets, with my main goal being weight loss. veganism already can feel relatively restrictive because there are suddenly so many things you can’t eat. then adding a specific diet on top of that makes it that much more difficult. my freshman year of college, i lived off of vegetable sushi, potatoes, and broccoli essentially. it felt like the tiniest mistake would have huge repercussions.

eventually, i gave up on any specific diet and returned to eating whatever i wanted. overall, i probably still ate healthier than a standard american due to restrictions that often caused me to not be able to eat the unhealthy option. but i still didn’t feel my best.

my new mindset

i wanted to kick this blog off by learning to cook healthier meals, but i don’t enjoy cooking. i like keeping things simple, and being vegan makes that pretty easy most of the time. it’s actually less work to eat healthy and be vegan. rice or frozen quinoa is a simple base, smoothies and oatmeal are easier than scrambled tofu, not to mention cheaper. so i decided to go into eating healthier with the mentality of making things easier on myself.

another difference i wanted to make was the idea that i’m eating this way for some sort of physical result. of course i want to feel confident in my body, but i think it’s time i change my mindset rather than trying to change my body. for so long i’ve felt “chubby,” even though i am in a healthy weight range for my age and height. yes, it could be in a different proportion that would make me feel better about myself, but overall there’s nothing actually wrong with my body, and it’s taken me a long time to realize that.

additionally, i think by making this change to my mindset, eating healthy will become easier because i’m going to put more focus on how my body feels, rather than how it looks. as i stated before, i would get frustrated when i wouldn’t see the results i thought i should be seeing, and then give up, putting me back to square one. ideally, i will be so focused on how much better it feels, that i’ll be able to maintain this mindset.

what i’ve been eating

i eat pretty much the same things every day which makes things much easier because i always have a list of basic things i need from the store – bananas, dates, spinach, oats, lettuce, avocados, black beans, frozen broccoli, vegan burritos, etc.

most days, my breakfast is a green smoothie consisting of:

1/2 c water

2 bananas (tastes better if they’re frozen)

2 dates (preferably medjool)

2 tsp PB2 powder / 1 tsp almond butter

big handful of spinach / 1/2 c frozen broccoli

sometimes i add protein powder after a workout

or sometimes i add oats to make it a little more filling if i know i won’t eat for a while

lunch is typically a frozen amy’s bean and rice burrito from kroger / target. the ingredients are pretty simple, and it tastes great with some sriracha or hot sauce on it.

i try to snack on fruits like grapes, apples, oranges, watermelon. but most of the time i end up snacking on skinny pop sea salt and black pepper popcorn because it satisfies my salty craving and replaces my go-to snack which is chips.

finally for dinner, i’ll make a salad. the portions just depend on how hungry i am. it consists of:

chopped lettuce

black beans

corn

quinoa to make it more filling

and i usually make a dressing with

1 mashed avocado

some tahini / coconut aminos to give some liquid

some minced garlic

salt and pepper

and a little water if it’s still too thick

how i feel

for now, i’m pretty content with the way i’m eating. i still have to resist the urge to go out and get some yummy vegan buffalo wings, but i 100% feel better and i know that eventually i’ll get to a mindset where i can treat myself with things like that and still feel great. but none of the things i’m eating take longer than about 10 minutes to prep, which makes it even better, and only one of my meals is something that is prepackaged.

i’ve been eating this way steadily for about a week, and i instantly felt more confident in my body because i just feel lighter and healthier overall. my bloating has gone down, and some of my acne has begun to clear up. i’m also trying to consciously drink more water (with lemon), as well as less coffee to stay hydrated (without having to pee every 20 minutes). but i’m very happy with how i feel!

 

kayler’s journey

things to work on:

veganism

i am partially beginning this blog to document my journey in learning to cook healthy vegan food. i have been vegan for a little over two years now, and i love it. throughout that time, i’ve tried many different diets under the vegan umbrella – high carb low fat, raw, whole starch low fat, junk food vegan, etc. however, i never could stick to any of them because they all seemed so complicated when it came to cooking. part of that could be due to the fact that i’m the only vegan in my house, meaning we don’t always have all the ingredients necessary for some of the recipes i see. but the main reason is that i don’t feel i have the motivation, nor the skills, to cook the healthy food that i would love to eat every day. i’m getting to a point where i feel as though i’m doing my body a disservice by not providing it with the foods i know it needs. so, i’ve decided it’s time to make that change, or at least make an effort to do so. this is me holding myself accountable.

 

mindset

another reason i wanted to start this blog was simply to motivate myself to be the best version of myself possible. i see so many people on instagram and youtube doing everything in their power to make their lives what they want to be, but feel as though i am so powerless in my own life. it’s easy to just adjust to circumstances and let them define you, rather than to overcome them. with so much going on in my life right now, i put myself on the back burner, whether that be my physical health or mental health. i also want to open myself up to things that enter my life. i believe the universe has plans for me, but i may not always accept what is dropped onto my lap in order to stay within my comfort zone. it will be scary, but i’m ready to step outside of my box.

 

anxiety

anxiety has felt like such a controlling force in my life since middle school. at the time, i
attributed my anxious feelings to puberty and typical teenage thoughts. however, looking back i am now able to see how much of a hold my anxiety had on me. there was a period of time when i was sixteen or seventeen where everything felt so daunting – driving, running into someone i know, going to the store, college, my future job or career. i didn’t want to leave the house, and so i wouldn’t. but as time went on, i realized that the more i stayed home, the scarier everything felt. i went on anxiety medication, which didn’t kill the anxiety, and instead killed my appetite as well as my mood. going to college helped me realize that although i may not be the most outgoing person, i can still have a social life. getting a job also helped me realize that i am able to get along with a lot of people, and capable of learning new things despite them feeling scary. my boyfriend of two and a half years now has also helped me feel comfortable in a way i never thought i could by just dancing around with me and being silly. while my anxiety is much more manageable these days, there are still small things that cause me anxiety, and i would love to conquer some of those.

summary

overall, i just want to better myself and my overall quality of living. i don’t want to look back and regret not prioritizing myself. so this is my first step forward. i don’t expect it to be a walk in the park, but i am excited to see where it leads me. i just want to be the best and happiest me, regardless of the circumstances that surround me.